I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
