Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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