Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
