Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
