I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
