how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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