I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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