Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
