dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
