can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
