Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
