let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Too much gin, very little bucket
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
