So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
