I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
