I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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