You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
