oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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