So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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