Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
