so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
