Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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