i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
