So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
