Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
