Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
