I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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