i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
