I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
