definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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