you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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