it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize