Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
