Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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