went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
