cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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