a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
