i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
