oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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