Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
