Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
