Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
