Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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