everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
