NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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