I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He felt like a one man threesome
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
