She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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