This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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