okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
