oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
