he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
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We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you had me at cake vodka
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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