new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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