Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm bleeding and have questions
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
