I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
