i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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