my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
