Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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