wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
