In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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